Know where you are. Know where you want to go.

I would say that many of us have a problem with becoming successful. The majority has an idealized vision for their life but somehow live outside the vicinity of their dreams, as though it was a gated country club and they are not card-carrying members. For reasons of clarity, we’ll categorize. Non-successful people tend to: know where they are and are complacent, maybe not happy, but complacent. Or they know where they want to go, but don’t know where they are, hence no starting point or clear direction. They tend to wander for years like the Hebrews in the desert. Or they know where they want to go, but their actions and habits negate that desire. Even though I would describe myself as having been pretty successful, I happen to fall into category three.

Ex: I want to be rich enough to never worry about money.
However, I just spent part of my paycheck on a really cute pair of shoes…and a belt…and some jeans. I have a great wardrobe. There are only two people who I’ve met where I’ve liked their clothes almost more than mine. But more clothes, less money, more debt. You get the idea.

So where do I go wrong. Am I too focused on the here and now? What I want at this moment? Sometimes. That’s probably why I just stuffed a Twix in my mouth. But it was sooo good. Is it fear? The fear of not accomplishing what I want and then being seen as a failure? Hmmm…interesting thought. Though I would never categorize myself as a failure. I would just say I’ve had to try multiple routes to get what I want. If the first wasn’t a success, then maybe the forth, fifth or sixth would be. Persistence can get you far. So can being overly confident and not taking no. I read that in a book. I would not say I’m gripped with fear. Though there are times where I worry of loss that my focus becomes well, unfocused. Never a good thing. Is it laziness? My Mexican bloodline had me working since the age of seven, so I’ll say no to that. Or maybe I just don’t deserve it? Hmmm…another interesting thought I had to work out with my therapist. Being left by your father at the age of four will scar you. However, letting his adolescent behavior dictate your worth will scar you more. I’m not quite there yet, but I’m working on it.

Being in any of those categories affects all facets of your life. The worst being never meeting your potential. Or never outshining your potential. I have had successes. Shoot I’ve been to more countries than some people have been states and on my own. But I’m not searching for ordinary. I’d like extraordinary. Forget celebrity, I want a life that inspires.

So I’m giving myself six months to focus.

I’ve been told I shouldn’t stress myself by putting dates on when I need to achieve a goal by. But it drives me. So February 1st it is. Hmmm…on second thought, let me make that five months. January 1st just has a better ring to it. Cliché yes. But it works. Writing my list. Getting to work…an extraordinary life…what could sound better? 01/01/09