Selfishness.

I manage to see a snip-it of The Real World while I’m cooking my cuisine of Ramen for the night. Synopsis of the 5 minutes I saw: Transgendered woman (i.e. used to be a man) is in some bar getting lit up. Next moment, she’s kissing some chick on the dance floor as another of the show’s characters adds commentary about her having a boyfriend. Later, transgendered woman (sorry, didn’t pay attention to names) tries to vindicate herself to roomie by stating she didn’t “technically do anything wrong,” presumably because it was a girl and not a guy she kissed. That’s not a loophole, that’s cheating*. Roomie says,“Why don’t you break up with him?” Audible sigh. “Because I love that damn man.” (Or something to that effect). All I can think of is selfish. You love him? No. You don’t. You love yourself. You love yourself so much that you’d allow yourself to hurt someone in order to feel loved and get attention. Not love. Selfishness. Gag.

*I realize I write quite a bit about cheating. I’m sure if the concept didn’t disgust me so much, I’d write less.

Delusional

I’m having a conversation with one of my favorite people, who I’ve known close to 12 years now. And she still remains one of the closest people to me. So she’s telling me about a talk she had with this guy friend, telling him her “delusional” friend believed that it was possible to be in a relationship where neither person cheated. Of course, I know she’s talking about me. She laughs because her and I have had this debate for years. I believe that relationships can exist without cheating. She, however, does not. For good reason, though. Her marriage ended when she found out about one of the myriad of “other” women. She says there will always be some sort of abuse, be it verbal, physical, etc. I don’t necessarily disagree with the idea that all relationships will have their ups and downs, but I don’t believe it HAS to be cheating. So this guy friend (who obviously is trying to get at her) says that yes, people that don’t cheat do exist, like him. My response to her, “see, now what makes you think that I can’t find a man who’ll love me and be faithful???” Her response, “At our age, they’re already taken.” Ahhh, got to love her. But in my mind, I’m hoping that I’m not the one that’s delusional, that maybe I’m the sane one. Perfection may not exist, but I still believe that faithfulness does.

Yes, you're right.

I'm not the type of person who needs to be told she's right all the time. Or that someone agrees with everything I say. Frankly, I like the idea of people having THEIR OWN opinions. I find it almost slightly irritating to hear yes all the time, or that I'm soo right, when two seconds before I said something, it was a different story. I don't necessarily say my opinion is gold... on music...movies...food. It's merely my opinion. Though I also don't really care for another person to ridicule them. I talked to this guy for about the blink of an eye. I told him I really liked an album. Then he bought the album and proceeded to call me to tell me just how much he disliked it and couldn't imagine how I did. Not really a way to win me over. He was out the picture within the week. But on the other hand, "oh, I can't stand that song...what?..you love it?...ME TOO!...I was thinking of another song...yeah, not that one...that one's cool". Seriously? Seriously.